Here's a Jolly Drinking Song for the Weekend

One of the best things about the 1973 Disney animated version of Robin Hood is the song “The Phony King of England” about Prince John’s illegitimate rule.  For a song in an animated musical, it’s pretty political.  (I guess it would be hard to not be political in a movie about a tyrant who taxes the poor and a hero who steals from the rich.)   What utterly delights me is that it is SO applicable to our situation in America today.  Some verses don’t even need to be changed!  Follow along:

The Phony King of England
Oh the world will sing of an English king
A thousand years from now
And not because he passed some laws
Or had that lofty brow
While bonny good King Richard leads
The great crusade he’s on
We’ll all have to slave away
For that good-for-nothin’ John
[Substitute: US Pres for English king; liberals for King Richard (OK it’s not perfect, but good enough); Bush for John]

Incredible as he is inept
Whenever the history books are kept
They’ll call him the phony king of England
A pox on the phony king of England
[Substitute: President of the US for king of England, otherwise totally accurate!]

He sits alone on a giant throne
Pretendin’ he’s the king
A little tyke who’s rather like
A puppet on a string
And he throws an angry tantrum
If he cannot have his way
And then he calls for Mum while he’s suckin’ his thumb
You see, he doesn’t want to play
[No substitutions needed!]

Too late to be known as John the First
He’s sure to be known as John the worst
A pox on the phony king of England
[Substitute: Bush for John (too perfect, isn’t it?!?!)]

While he taxes us to pieces
And he robs us of our bread
King Richard’s crown keeps slippin’ down
Upon that pointed head
Ah! But while there is a merry man
In Robin’s wily pack
We’ll find a way to make him pay
And steal our money back
[Substitute: Democracy for King Richard; I wish like fuck he had something to substitute for Robin’s wily pack, but unfortunately no one tries succeeds against the Bush tyranny]

The minute before he knows we’re there
Ol’ Rob will snatch his underwear
The breezy and uneasy king of England
The snivellin’ grovellin’
Measly weasely
Blabberin’ jabberin’
Gibberin’ plunderin’
Wheelin’ dealin’
Prince John, that Phony King of England
Yeah!
[Substitute: sadly, there’s no one who gets the better of the Bushies, so nothing to change there; George Bush for Prince John; President of the US for King of England]

It’s good stuff, I tell you.