Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Ain't No Valley Low Enough

If men worry to much about their dicks being too small, I think women worry too much about their vaginas getting too big (i.e. – stretched out) over time. People kid around about having doctors stitch women back up after giving birth so that they are as tight as when they were virgins. I can understand how shoving something the size of a watermelon, but heavier, can stretch a vagina out. But can repeat intercourse with men with dicks the width of Coke cans have the same effect? (A friend of mine who is a nurse told me about another nurse who works at her hospital. The nurse was dealing with a guy who was under general anesthesia and thus required a catheter. She discovered that his flaccid penis was as thick as a Coke can. She was sure that no one would believe such a specimen existed, so she brought Nurse Friend to the unconscious patient’s bed to verify that she was not exaggerating.)

Not to worry – the vagina is an amazingly elastic muscle. A few rounds of Kegel exercises every day should keep your average vagina in tip top shape. As mentioned before, birth presents a larger challenge than guys with really big dicks, but Kegels can help and most women worry too much about these things anyway. Unless you are as loose as a Hefty sack, which would be quite an accomplishment, I don’t think that guys really notice how tight you are. They are just glad to be fucking someone other than themselves.

Too tight, though, is no good either. Women who are too tight are going to hurt, even with the slightest endowed lover. Any guy worth fucking will notice his partner crying out in pain, if he even gets that far - he may have a difficult time getting in. (Husband just reminded me that there’s a brand of lube called just that, Get In. Imagine if all products were that direct!)

Also not to worry: tight vaginas are also curable through the miracle of exercise. I know this because I had a friend whose vagina was severely damaged by scar tissue due to Crohn’s Disease. Because chronic inflammation of the intestine can lead to scar tissue forming and affecting other parts of the body that happen to be nearby scar tissue, she could not be penetrated. Even using small tampons was agonizingly painful. Her doctor gave her a set of weights, starting with super tiny ones. She had to put a weight in each day, gradually working up to wider ones as her crotch stretched out. Voila! Problem solved, or at least made tolerable enough to allow her to have some semblance of a normal sex life.

See? It’s all good. No more excuses for bad fucks!