For the first time since I lost 40 pounds seven years ago, I am contemplating buying a gut sucker. You might know this rumored miracle product by its more conventional name, girdle, or more pleasantly euphemistically, “body slimmer.” Too much fried goodness and other treats this summer and too little exercise (or early menopause, depending on what my tests indicate, although certainly the former causes are indictable) resulted in my midsection swelling up like a beached whale.
As a FoFaW*, I’m often overly sensitive to any fluctuation in my weight, but this actually this growth in girth is measurable. Some of my pants and blouses are too tight to button, depending on where they fall on my abdomen. Most of my dresses look like I put them on over an inner tube.
Maybe I can just tell people I’m prepared in the event of a flash flood. Or I can go out and buy a gut sucker.
*Count Mockula reminded me in the comments that I forgot to spell this out: Formerly Fat Woman. This is what happens when Husband is rushing me. Not that he was wrong, as we did need to leave for our road trip to see Elli, her hubby, and super cute kids, but still.
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I am so sorry to hear that. Seriously, though I would suck it up so to speak and go out and get bigger pants/blouses. Those girdles are really uncomfortable and always put me in a defeatist so I swear I would actually put on weight if I was wearing one (if this damn thing is so tight anyhow, one more doughnut isn't going to mattter.) I recently purchased some larger jeans a few weeks ago. As I work my way back from maternity jeans to my pre-pregnancy jeans, I have enjoyed seeing how much space there is in my larger jeans each week. It's much better experience. Although I'll be honest and say that I hated forking over the money for the larger jeans.
ReplyDeleteBuying new clothes is funner than buying a sucker. More expensive though. But if you needed someone to go on a new-dress excursion, I might know someone...
ReplyDeleteShopping is good. What's a FoFaW?
ReplyDeleteHave you seen the new Gap "Skinny Black Pants" ads? They were all over San Francisco last weekend.
ReplyDeleteMr Stapler and I were remarking on the irony that, as the population gets larger, the pants are getting skinnier.
He said "I wonder if they come in a 16?"
I dont know Suzanne...I'm actually rooting for the girdle idea. Yeah, I know it's probably the most uncomfortable piece of underwear around, but if it helps smooth out your ensemble, what's the harm? They say that in life, "no pain, no gain," which is a phrase most commonly used in the gym, but if it can be geared towards fashion...I say, why not? Pain is beauty and beauty is pain...which I guess is why I hurt everyday. No I'm kidding. But seriously though Suzanne, we cant tell you what to do. We can give you our opinions, but in the end, you have to do what you feel is right. But just know, I'll support whatever you choose...
ReplyDeleteI was wondering what theat meant myself, but forgot to ask. I tried to figure it out, but I had nuthin'.
ReplyDeleteAs a former girdle wearer (and I have a super embarrassing story to go with it about wearing it over my black tights to cut down on those painful elastic cuts into my skin and then accidentally tucking my skirt into the back of it, mooning a hallway full of musicians at college . . . ) I have to say that they sometimes cause more issues than they solve, namely the flab that sklushes out around the edges. Unless you buy a full body girdle . . . .
ReplyDelete