The People You Meet in Life, College Edition

Husband and I led boring lives in college, a pattern that continues to this day. However, he did have one friend his freshman year that blew the roof off their dorm with her adventures. She arrived at NYU a modest Muslim girl from DC. When Husband befriended her during orientation week, she told him that she was saving herself for marriage. Not a month later, Husband’s Friend (HF) had a boyfriend who died his goatee and pubes purple (in honor of NYU, I think, which disturbs me a bit upon reflection) with whom she had lots of violet-stained sex. Then they broke up and she became a club kid. Many types of drugs and outrageous tales went along with this transition.

My favorite story, although it does not involve sex: One night HF went out clubbing and met two gay guys who were visiting from Miami. They told my HF that one was a customs official who had stolen a kilo of coke from a bust and hoped to earn enough money from the sales to open a dance school in Boston. However, they were not really getting any sales.

HF felt bad for them and offered to help them sell their stash. She informed them that they’d have to give out free samples if they ever expected to sell anything. With her assistance, they quickly ran through the small amount of coke they had brought with them, so one of the guys had to return to their hotel to get more. After he was gone for an absurd amount of time, HF and his partner became worried and went to the hotel to look for him. They found him in the hall with his head bashed in and the hotel room trashed. When he regained consciousness, he told them that a rival drug seller had followed him from the club and demanded the rest of his stash. When he refused to give it up, the guy assaulted him and searched the hotel room. Unbelievably, it seems that the guys hid the coke in a Tupperware container under their bed, the one place the drug dealer did not bother to look.

Over the next few days, HF and her new gay pals went to other clubs and sold the rest of the drugs. The men earned enough money to move to Boston and fulfill their dream. Many air kisses were exchanged.

Although the end is happy, eventually, they also figured out that the reason they ran out of drugs so quickly in the first place was because one of them accidentally dropped a large amount of cocaine on the floor. I hope they are better dance instructors.