Given my strong feelings about changing one’s name (see Sunday for Part I's rant), it has taken me a very long time to adjust to the current trend among women my age to eagerly take their husband’s name upon marriage. Almost all of my friends, both male and female, are very progressive, so it surprises me that I know a mere handful of women who didn’t change their name. It just seems weird to me that a woman would invest so much time in her education and work life, building a reputation under an identity and accruing props along the way for her achievements, and then suddenly become someone else. Sure, she’s not really someone else. A rose is a rose by any other name, right? Even dunderheads like me know that. But it is confusing and takes explaining when you walk into someone’s office and call her Dr. Blahblah or what have you, then notice that the medical degree posted on the wall is to Susie Sunshine. Who the fuck is that? The mental reconciliation process kicks in, starting with, “Shit, am I seeing a fraud?” to “Oh, maybe she is using someone else’s office” to finally, “Ah, she’s married. I am in the right place after all.”
Anyway, after beating people over the head with blunt objects in an attempt to force them to respect my choice, I realized that I should back the fuck up when it came to judging my friends’ decisions about what they want to be legally known as. Now I don’t bother getting bent out of shape unless I am reading some article about the new “trend” of women not changing their names (I don’t think at any point in time more married women in the US had their own names than their beloved’s, so I am not sure how this marks a “trend”), which more often than not will site a return to “values” (seems that brazen hussies like me who kept their names don’t have values – who knew?) and the death of the failed feminist experiment. Usually the article includes a quote from some twat to prove that feminism is useless, and she’ll say something brainless like, “If we have the same name, we’ll never get divorced because it will bring us so much closer.” Yeah, I’m sure if Christie Brinkley had insisted that the media refer to her as Mrs. Whatever-her-cheating-husband’s-name-is, he never would have shtupped his teenage intern.
Do what you want about your name, but don’t be a moron, or I will still make fun of you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I liked this post better than Part I. Husband told me he did not care if I called myself "Mrs. Dingleberry" and although I seriously considered that (how funny would that be!)I opted to chnage my name because that is what made me comfortable. Although I think I got it right on the wedding invites for you. As Mara once said, Lucy Stone did not fight to not change her name, she fought to be called whatever the f*ck she wanted to be called.
ReplyDelete1. My married lesbian friends are naming their baby with one of their mom's maiden names, because everyone else in their family sucks. Of course they each kept their own name when married, but their "baby deserves better."
ReplyDelete2. My friend was so excited to get married because she was tired of being a Smith. Now she's a Richardson. Not much better.
3. Another reason I'm keeping my name is because it's such a hassle to change it. All that paperwork. Oy!
Two of my friends who are lesbians (and legally married in MA!) each ditched their own names and came up with a last name that they both liked better (family name from one of the wives.) It was really important to them to have one last name both personally as well as to show society that they are a family.
ReplyDeleteI was reflecting on your post, and I think that people are just idiots in general when it comes to calling people what they want to be called. I have a few friends whose children go by names like Elizabeth, William etc. and they have to constantly tell people not to call their kids Lizzy, Willie, etc.
Hell, call me anything... but late to a shoe sale! Just kiddin'. lol!
ReplyDeleteMe and the old man changed both our names, to one we picked because we liked the way it sounded. Luckily we caught ourselves before we went w/ our 1st pick - Talia - (truth and love in action) feel free to mock it, but then think of how well it fits with my first name. Jen Talia. Jennytalia. Nice. And nicer save.
ReplyDeleteI changed my name when I got married, because at 31, I was good and sick of the jokes. I had a funny last name. Like "Lipshitz" (but not actually "Lipshitz" because even in a Blogger comment my real maiden name is not being revealed.) But you get the general idea.
ReplyDelete(BTW sorry if I'm butting in. I have no idea how I got here. Don't mind me ... I'll let myself out.)